Tuesday, May 31, 2011

This cover is freggin' gnarly, son.

This is not your grand-mammie's Metallica album -- no -- this is St. Anger. It is angry as shizzy... a very apt album title.

Not a lot of people like St. Anger. Even I can't say that I really like the album. I enjoy it, on occasion, though. It differs from other Metallica albums because it is a more chord-driven album (I think, I'm no musician, but that's how I'll describe it). It doesn't rely on nifty riffs. In fact, there is not one guitar solo on the entire album. It is that raw -- and is surely a different Metallica.

Actually filmed with "lifers" in San Quentin.

This is a badass album to listen to when working out hardXcore, son. It makes your muscles huge, and makes people afraid of you. I like the songs St. Anger, Sweet Amber, and Some Kind of Monster the most.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Let's face it, chicks want dudes who GTL. (For those of you who are not familiar with GTL, it stands for Gym, Tanning, Laundry.) Chicks who deny that they want dudes who GTL are lying, straight up. These lying butt hookers are usually just trying to "make a statement." They want to seem cool like they don't need or want muscular or at least in shape people. Why am I so certain that these girls are lying butt hookers? It's simple... because they are girls. Girls always say or do the exact opposite of what they want. I will give a sort-of example to illustrate: A guy says to a girl at bar: "You are a whore." Ten minutes later the girl responds by giving the guy her phone number. That actually happened, I was a witness, and the worst part about this example is that it didn't totally shock me.

Pauly D, The Situation, Ronnie, Vinnie

Let's be completely frank: chicks want dudes on top of them "doin work." (Unless they are the lesbian type.) Who wants Johnny Appleseed, or some other stick figure goin' to town on their action? Yeah... zactly... no one. I'm sorry skinny dudes, but you gotta get ripped to get a chick, then you gotta have a personality to keep her. Remember, they are pretty much all lying butt hookers. If they say they need a dude with personality, that means that they only bang dudes with muscles, and then date the ones with personalities (in that order, usually). It's like E=MC^2, but in this context, G+T+L. Let's analyze.

Now, it's simple, you get muscles when you go to the gym. You also lose fat. Who thinks fat is attractive? Not I, said the cat. An example will illustrate, and point out your hypocrisy:

Tell me with a straight face that you'd bang future
Einstein before you'd bang the "Situation."

See the above photo. Similar analysis applies. Nobody wants to bang someone who is slightly invisible when they take their shirt off. Blinded by the light.

Laundry isn't limited to the narrow concept of having clean clothes. It necessarily encompasses the larger idea of being fashionable, at least slightly. So with that said, people who don't dress well, necessarily struggle, trust me. An example:

Probably affliction t-shirts with
jeans worth at least 100 bucks.

People wearing shizzy like this don't get laid:

I forgot where I was going with this post, but it has something to do with girls being lying butt hookers. Oh yeah, I remember now. There have been studies showing that people of similar attractiveness end up dating or hooking up with one another because people of better attractiveness usually end up rejecting them. See generally Berscheid. Remember that song where the chorus goes "Is she really going out with him? Is she really gunna take him home tonight?" These lyrics reflect a societal truth, more or less.

This concept of "matching" attractiveness is relevant to our discussion in this post. Basically, the ugly chicks or the chicks who are only "modest" know they have little-to-no chance at ever getting with a dude of high physical attractiveness. So when they date only average people throughout their life, they look at their ugly-ass boyfriends and try to justify to themselves that they don't even like physically attractive people, or else they are failures. They also, necessarily, have to sell this falsehood to the rest of the world, making them lying butt hookers.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Bikini Wallpaper2

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Dime Piece. /dīm/ /pēs/ Noun. A really hot chick; a "ten."

While she is certainly a dime piece, there's something about this
style of make-up which makes her less attractive. Her hair
looks stupid too.

Ahh hell yeah, much better makeup and hair. The girl's
thin and she's clearly got assets -- win, win.

MC Hammer is always lookin' for chicks with asses. This chick,
however, has only modest "back." Notwithstanding that fact,
I still dig the table-cloth patterned skirt, in all the right ways.

The picture really focuses your eyes in one place; a very
good place; a place that turns boys into men.

A picture good for showing off her body -- she is very 
in-shape, boy I tell ya huwhat.

Eh. Apparently she's on one of those Star Trek TV shows, so they say.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Fade to Black by Metallica at Tushino Airfiled, Moscow, September 28th, 1991. It was estimated that around 1 million people were in attendance.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Never heard of him? Yeah, I never did before a couple of months ago. He is a professional skateboarder and a very successful entrepreneur. I know him from his TV shows "Fantasy Factory" and "Rob and Big" on MTV. In short, Rob Dyrdek is the man.

Skateboarder, entrepreneur, philanthropist, ninja. Rob Dyrdek.

Rob is a very eccentric person. His shows document his adventures, and his sense of humor. He has two bulldogs, one named Meaty, and the other, Beefy.


Each of the shows focus on a fun adventure or goal. One day he set 21 Guiness World Records for skateboarding (beating all prior records that he attempted). His place of work is a large warehouse, with skateboarding setups, cool looking offices, a record studio, a foam pit to board into, a zip line, and a tennis ball gun, amongst many other things. He has an alter-ego Bobby Light, that makes hilarious R&B songs. His personality and the "mood" of the show is too hard describe. All I can say is to check it out.

They do all kinds of dumb-fun shit on the Fantasy Factory. It's hilarious. 

Just one angle -- you can see the foam pit in the distance,
and Meaty behind the glass door in the foreground.

Rob Dyrdek has the personality that we all need, the fearlessness to do what's right and what is epic.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Mmm mmm good! (As always.) So the idea of this column is that I ask chicks topical questions in order to improve the lives of fellow man. This is how it works: I send questions to a chick that I know, they answer anonymously however they want (including a free-style answer at the end where they can say whatever they'd like about anything), I post their answers, and people read them (most likely laughing -- with the guys secretly taking notes).

I will probably be sending out the same questions to 2-3 chicks over the span of one month so the readers can compare answers between the different ladies. Then I'll be sending out a new set of questions for the next month.  It's fun, and interesting.

So here is the tenth neural synapse: Anonymous Chick #10.

1) What type of outfit catches your eye on a guy? What turns you off?

It definitely depends on the setting. Passing on the street or waiting for the Metro on a weekday, business suits will most likely make you noticeable. In most other settings, I notice the comfortably preppy outfits. I like polos and have a soft spot for tasteful argyle, but I don’t care to know what brand you wear; and if you can reasonably swing it, given setting and temperature – you better be wearing flops (specifically rainbows – my one brand-snob preference). I can’t think of any turn-off outfits. Some guys look better in, and some settings call for, more athletic, more professional, or more brand-conscious types of outfits. But at the end of the day, I like a confident guy – regardless of the outfit. So wear what makes you comfortable.

2) Do you like more traditional dates (think dinner and a movie), or do you like more unique/adventurous dates? Please use examples.

I like meal or coffee or happy hour dates toward the beginning of dating, because I want to have conversation and figure out if I like you for the right reasons. Given that, I actually think movie dates suck in the early stages of a relationship. If I already know I like you, or we’re already dating, then the game changes. Top dates for me include: wandering around a downtown area and into buildings/floors of buildings where we probably were not supposed to go, getting day drunk and meandering around before walking home while the rest of the world is getting ready to start the night, going to concerts, and making dinner together.

3) What level of intimacy constitutes cheating (kissing, making out, BJ, sex, etc.)? What level of intimacy triggers some sort of duty to tell your significant other of what you did?

All of it. I once heard that if it’s something you wouldn’t want to see your mom doing with your neighbor, then it’s too much. Anything that involves kissing or more is not something I want my boyfriend doing with some other chick. That said, I only enter relationships when I am serious about them and want the exclusivity factor. Some couples don’t operate on that level – and if it works for them, fine. But I draw the line at kissing.

4) Under what circumstances is it acceptable for a girl to “go commando”? Have you? If so, describe the circumstances.

Have I gone commando? Of course! In fact, May 7 used to be commando day for my sorority class. Sometimes you just go commando for the hell of it. But not usually. Times where commando is the way to go: (1) date night with the boyfriend – wear a skirt and at the appropriate moment (when you’re still out) mention the fact that you’re not wearing underwear and are looking forward to showing him the perfect end to the perfect date night, (2) certain so-called “walk of shame” (walk of victory?) mornings… and (3) if you pee your pants. Duh.

5) Do you flirt with guys, even if you are in a relationship? If so, why? What kind of things do you do/say to flirt?

I love people, and I have a really friendly/social/includer-type personality. That definitely does not change when I’m in a relationship. In fact, when I’m in a healthy relationship, I have more confidence than ever. So in conversation, I probably come across as very interested in you (because I am, as a friend), and I probably invite you to happy hours and include you in making plans. I love my friends – new and old, and I do these things because I truthfully want you around. But do I act like or say anything that would imply I want your tongue down my throat or to go home together? Definitely not. In fact, my priority is to have my boyfriend around, not only because I enjoy a tasteful amount of PDA, but also because I do want to go home with him. If my actions ever don’t line up with this, you can bet that relationship will end in the very near future.

6) What’s the most unusual thing a guy has tried to do during sex? Did you ultimately go with it, or not?

I dated a guy who went through a photography fetish. Once, right in the middle of fooling around, he stopped and asked if he could turn the lights on and take pictures of us while we were already all hot and bothered. Of course I went with it. And of course it was fun. Now that we have broken up, I shudder when I think about the possibility of anyone ever coming into the possession of that flash drive, the home photos of me on my knees and in other various positions with him… [editor's note: best. answer. ever.]

7) Do you like music on the bedroom during sex, and why? Lights on or off, and why?

More often than not – yes. Not only have I been fortunate to sleep with guys who have good musical taste, but also because they tend to not live alone. I certainly do not mean that music should be playing every time, but if he plays music, I will like it. I find it especially cute either at the beginning of a relationship, or awhile in as a gesture of romance. Lights – doesn’t matter. If I’m sleeping with you, I’m confident enough to let you see me; also, I like daytime action, so darkness isn’t really an option. Dim or no lights can also be really sexy, though.

8) Do you require your man to trim “down there”? Any personal preference, in terms of style?

Require? No, but I have never slept with anyone who didn’t keep it reasonably trim. So if I came across something bad, I suppose it would be a requirement to some extent. I want him to be comfortable, so I would never set up strict standards. But I also don’t want either a mouthful of hair or a face-scratching experience when I’m blowing him.

9) Have you ever cheated on a significant other? Be honest. If you did, feel free to justify yourself, and was it worth it? And if you didn’t, ever been cheated on?

Cheating is tricky. Two circumstances come to mind where I could be guilty. In the first, I was out of town and very drunk, and another drunk guy (who I repeatedly told of my boyfriend) grabbed my face and kissed it as I turned around at one point. I pushed him away and nothing else happened, but I still felt really bad about it. The second: more than once, I would hang out with an ex with whom I was still friends, and we’d cuddle. One time I cried to him about my grandpa until I fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning with him still cuddling me. So you tell me, guys – did I cheat? And to my knowledge, I haven’t been cheated on – though I did once find a file that made me suspicious in a boyfriend’s dropbox folder.

10) Freestyle. Go!

My current pet peeve surrounds boys hitting on me when they actually have girlfriends. Seriously guys, why? If you aren’t happy with her – get rid of her. And if you are happy with her, then keep your shit together and refrain from various forms of trying to get with other girls. When I’m drunk, and I do not know you well, I’m going to assume you’re single if you make a move on me. If I find out you actually have a lady, I am going to feel bad about my own actions, and I am going to feel like you are an asshole both to me and your girl. Flattering, sort of, that you think I’m hot. But not really. Because I do not want attention from someone who thinks it’s cool to cheat on the girl they’re supposed to be committed to. Don’t do it. Thanks.  

Thanks Anonymous Chick # 10.  Key takeaway: Bring a camera.

Reader, yes you!: Please follow my blog by clicking "follow" in the column to the right. AND please comment!

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E-mail me at goodbadbadass@gmail.com
and I will send you some questions!
Your anonymity is highly respected!

This is the second hot chick of the week this week. Instead of working hard during finals, I just find ways to divert my attention. Google images and hot chicks. Done.

This is Larissa Raquelme. She first gained international attention during the 2010 World Cup for being a [hot as shizz] Paraguay fan.

Good pose. Yabba dabba doo.


Girl's got assets.

Remember that post about panties?

The picture which made her "famous."
Notice the custom cell phone holder... money!

Slightly awkward pose... but hot chicks can get
away with a lot more shizz in their lives.

"Hey baby, check out this concrete wall... ahhh yeaaa."

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


In response to popular demand, this post explores the scientifically-proven nexus between panties and personality. In this post I'll take you across the pantie spectrum. I'll tell you what each pair of oh-so-sweet undergarments tells you about the personality of the wearer. Girls, check your underpants, because you might be in the cross-hairs. And guys, if you are wearing panties... well... keep it to yourself.

Disclaimer: I'm not going to discuss every type of pantie known to [wo]man (I'm sure I only know the smallest fraction of them), but I'll cover all of the major food groups: granny panties, standard/traditional panties & tangas, boyshorts, thongs, and the almighty g-string. Now, being a guy, I could be neglecting a category -- intentionally or unintentionally -- so please don't tear my head off, ladies, if I am leaving out your favorite S&M gear, etc etc. This is not a complete treatise on female underwear, but is merely a taste of the majesty.

The old common law maxim smallus pantimus es optimus sums this post up (I don't do Latin -- clearly). Let's get started.

6. The most despised undergarment is the dreaded granny pantie. 

NO excuses. You shouldn't be wearing this, unless you are older than 50. Ladies, work on it, pick up your game. I don't care if they are your "back up" underwear, or whatever lame excuse you can think of. These tell me that you aren't even trying, and you aren't thinking ahead. A guy should never see you in a pair of these (unless he has some kind of "mature" fetish, and in that case, dump his ass and date me instead, but lose the granny panties first). Basically, if you are wearing these, I recommend buying a lint roller, 'cause your ass is gunna be living with a bunch of cats for the rest of your life.

5. The traditional pantie & "tanga."

Okay, I can't be too critical here. These two are put in the same category because they are a degree of the same thing: average and not exciting. If you wear these my only advice is to go for the skimpier "tanga" style depicted on the right. I'm sure your man won't be displeased. It probably won't catch his eye (any more than you taking off your pants already would). Wearing these tell me that you want to wear clothes -- can't fault you for that -- but you aren't looking to impress anyone (or you just weren't prepared to "get down"). They tell me that you are traditional or normal, an average blue-blooded American. Who wants to be average? Your best bet is to step up to the next set of undergarments, at least.

4. The mercurial boyshort.

You have to be careful with this one. If you can pull it off, then it comes across as very sexy. But if you don't have the right body, then this one might not be right for you. I must say, that these are the only pair of pantie where your personality actually affects your attractiveness when wearing this undergarment. If you are like a "cool" chick, sort-of tomboyish (but not butch lesbian), more like "fun" and "I-can-recite-NFL-stats," then you are probably the right kind of chick for these. Also, you could be a supermodel, but in that case, you would probably look good in granny panties, so good for you. I have a personal preference for these, because they usually tell me that you are slightly unconventional (I like to think I am "unconventional" -- another word for "nerd") , and that you are probably an interesting person. I'd like to know you, and your underpants (haha).

3. The thong & g-string.

Now we're talking. You are in the right department now. If you look down, and you happen to be wearing a pair of these bad boys, then you are already on the fast track. You probably have a boyfriend (or husband), your life is filled with much success, and your office smells of rich mahogany. You probably have a fancy car, and make witty jokes with frequency. Thong < G-string. But, g-strings are just bonus points, much like an A+*. If you are wearing one of these undergarments, then you are also likely wearing a tight-as-shit summer dress, and in that case, I salute you. (Aside: Pants-suits are not hot, unless you have a sculptured ass, and the pants are tight. Otherwise, they make me angry! *insert angry face here*.)

2. Going commando.

Now, I'm not actually suggesting that you should go commando on a regular basis. I've heard of some girls doing this, but it's more like a unicorn, or more accurately, a very-rare earth metal, like Iridium. If you do this, it won't score you a ton of extra points (as it borders on strange -- almost). However, it would be a nice surprise for your man on occasion -- just tearin' off your pants and bein' all like "hey, look at me, bitch!" (haha)

1. Wearing candy panties.

Candy panties + a guy's mouth (or, I guess a girl's mouth would work too, if you are into that) = a fun time for someone. Enough said. 

I hope you enjoyed this odd post, and don't think I'm a creeper for it -- all in good fun. And if it sounds judgmental, well, I'm not sorry. G'day mate.